Tom Laundry (Bad Employee) Says, "Give Me Some Credit"

Hey guys. It’s been a while. I’ve been busy. Yeah, we’ll go with that. I’ve been putting in nearly six hours at the office every day. It’s not easy, but someone has to do it.

I’m expecting a nice pat on the back and maybe even a raise after my most recent contribution in the office. I’d been working with Paula in the cubicle next to mine on a big project. But I got caught up in some important action at the beach. There was a volleyball tournament I intended to play in, but found more beneficial watching with a couple of cold beverages and a big bag of pork rinds.

Anyway, because I dozed off under my desk when the day before the project was due, I woke up and found Paula had finished the work on her own. The only thing missing on the file was my name, so I took care of that. Since no one was left in the office at the time, I just went ahead and sent it to the boss to make sure he saw it first thing in the morning.

Paula hasn’t really said much to me since. She just gives me this look.  She’s been in a bad mood around me. I bet her boyfriend finally came to his senses and kicked her to the curb.

I’m Tom E. Laundry. I’m clearing some space on my desk for my Employee of the Month plaque. It’s about time I get some recognition around here.

 Tom E. Laundry is quite possibly the world’s worst employee.  He likes to drunk snap chat while sitting in his cubicle and HR is constantly ruining his mojo, telling him to put his pants back on.  He believes that smoking a little weed on his lunch break makes him a better co-worker and can often be found hiding out in the men’s room with his flask of vodka, eating a bag of cheetos and catching up on Jimmy Fallon tweets.   Follow him on twitter at @tommlaundry where he tweets #bademployee tweets with one hand.