Tom Laundry, Bad Employee and Social Media Master

Hey there, it’s me again, Tom Laundry.

I should really be working right now, but I just got back from vacation and I have a ton of pictures to upload to my Instagram account…on company time.  Shhhh, don’t tell the boss because for some reason he really hates it when I use his time for personal tasks.   

Speaking of photos, you should see the one of me bonging a beer.   Talk.  About.  Talent.  Good thing I have a photo of that because I can’t remember much from that night.   By the way, I’m wearing a company t-shirt so don’t let my boss know about that one. he he.     

Once I’m finished with the uploading I have a couple quizzes to take… on Facebook.   ‘That 70s Show’ character I’m most like” is important to know.  I’m guessing Kelso.   Plus I haven’t really shared much about the Presidential election coming up.  I know my friends want to hear my thoughts on the candidates.  After that loud argument with my co-workers about politics, I think I’m gonna start printing out my facebook status and leaving them in random cubicles.  White paper is so important.

My boss hates that I’m on social media when I should be working but Jimmy Fallon’s tweets aren’t going to read themselves.  How else will I know what’s going on in the world?  Plus, have you seen the cool new filters on SnapChat?  Sending a selfie with dog-ears and a tongue keep my girlfriend in stitches all day.  I figure having fun at work helps me be more productive, even if I did miss a call from a client because I didn’t want to interrupt the Vine message I was recording.  Again, don’t mention that one to my boss either.

My email etiquette has been criticized lately.  Probably because I don’t usually check it until after the person sending it needs something.  My thought is “if it’s as ‘URGENT’ as the subject line says it is, maybe they should just call me.”  (But don’t call me while I’m playing Words with Friends).   Hey, we all need a break from time to time.  At least I put my ear buds in when I’m watching YouTube videos and I keep the laughter to a minimum.  Co-workers can be so rude with their eye rolling and pointing fingers.

Oh hey, here comes the boss.  Gotta look busy.  I have to tag myself in some pics from from my high school reunion.  Fun weekend from what I can remember of it…

 Tom E. Laundry is quite possibly the world’s worst employee.  He likes to drunk snap chat while sitting in his cubicle and HR is constantly ruining his mojo, telling him to put his pants back on.  He believes that smoking a little weed on his lunch break makes him a better co-worker and during the work day, he can often be found hiding out in the men’s bathroom with his flask of vodka, catching up on Jimmy Fallon tweets.   Follow him on twitter at @tommlaundry